bohemian bar & restaurant

Many moons ago my beautiful girlfriends and I fancied ourselves as the SATC bunch (before the movies came out and made all the fans feel silly and has-been), languidly sipping cocktails and exchanging hilarious raunchy stories about men and their foibles. This was in the baby years of the 2000's, when we first started uni, barely over 20, no disposable income to speak of and still living at home. Back then, we thought everything was cool. We can only look back now and appreciate how naff our imitations were. The only thing that we had in common with those characters was a genuine care for each other and what we (I think rightly) deemed real friendship. Many moons later now I can appreciate the gravity of what I guess SATC and others of its ilk inspired in me, a kind of link between glamour and the secret lives of girlfriends. This is why, whenever I go out with my female friends, it always makes me feel more grown up in a different way to marriage.

Bohemian Bar and Restaurant was the setting for a girly catch-up with Q, a close friend with a full to bursting busy life. Located along South Wharf, we took a table outside where the air was cicada song warm and we could catch a breeze off the water.

The food was Spanish-inspired and fabulous with drinks and someone with a story.

Patatas bravas: potato cylinders, spiced tomato and aioli

I have a soft spot for potato and really liked these despite the fact that they are little over salted. We were tapping the salt off the sides. Other than that the little pocket at the top for tomato and aioli were perfect.

Gambas al ajillo: garlic prawns with paprika

These prawns were nicely cooked but a little plain. More chilli and garlic needed. I think prawns can be so much more exciting than this "boiled" look. Waiter said this was a most popular dish.

A green salad  with pomegranate and prettiness

We also had a seafood paella (no photo) which was yum but a little small for the two of us. I would recommend ordering one each if you're looking for restaurant portions.

Bunuelos de chocolate: chocolate filled doughnut balls, confit cumquat

Q's official Facebook account of the night was "Melbourne on summer nights. Best friends. Long stories of things you used to only read about. Home." I would whole heartedly agree.

Bohemia Bar and Restaurant
35 Dukes Walk
South Wharf
9682 0566

mess hall breakfast

We're back from our honeymoon! And doing all kinds of married stuff. For example, in a brave effort to normalise our waistlines (we're not fat, just cuddly) we have decided, in true married fashion, to take yoga classes together. Not just any normal yoga class though - goddamn 6.15am yoga classes in the city which require us to get up at the hour of 5 and 15 and roll in to do the following postures:

BADASS HEADSTAND!
Image taken from http://theia-fitgoddess.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/i-did-headstand-in-yoga-last-night.html

BOSS SHOULDER STAND!!

Yes, it is as hard as it looks. Especially for someone like me who was FAT AS as a kid (scroll down to the bottom of this post for illustration) so during the formative years I never learned how to do handstands on the oval. In the words of the thespian Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys 2, "Shit just got real." Maybe if we get really good we'll post photos of ourselves doing it!

So we've started to have breakfast regularly in the city. Smiley face.

We found Mess Hall on Bourke Street with cool morning music and decent food. The chai is very good. The sparse (and tense) morning corporate breakfast crowd kills our yoga buzz a little, but if you have suggestions as to where to avoid suit-wearers on a weekday in the city, we're happy to receive your non-existent recommendations.

The sweet options are yummy and surprisingly filling.

Blueberry and ricotta pancakes with maple syrup. Don't be deceived by the pretty berry topping, this is a man's dish. Would feed my whole family, really.

Homemade granola with poached rhubarb and yoghurt

The eggs are gooood. But as 1405's "I have never eaten so much egg in my life until I met you" suggests, I like eggs, most ways.

Poached asparagus with scrambled eggs and shaved parmigiano

One morning they didn't poach eggs. From the waitress' tone it sounded like the chef went on a poaching strike so we got scrambled eggs in a hollandaise dish - it was nice but I was eyeing everyone else's poached eggs as we were leaving. Maybe the chef caved in to the tense suits.

Hollandaise eggs with ham, spinach, hollandaise and dukkah on a sweet bun. Usually with poached eggs.

We have told too many people that we're doing a yoga thing this year to stop going now. I imagine when we're done (although one can never be done with yoga...) with these city classes Mess Hall memories will be forever linked to the sheer sweaty terror of being upside down, in a good way.

The Mess Hall
51 Bourke Street
Melbourne
9654 6800

hanoi hannah

"Sex, drugs and rice paper rolls" announces the awning above the hippest Vietnamese restaurant in this neck of the woods.

The lights are dim and pink, the music is right now and the food is fusion but tasty.

I met a friend J here for dinner on a weeknight when our working lives point blank looked like scenes from the director's cut of Horrible Bosses. After a lively exchange of ways to make the problem "permanently go away" J and I drank from big white fleshy coconuts and ordered away with reckless abandon.

Due to the fact that J is very cool and I didn't want to embarrass her with my intrusive food photo-taking, the photos below are terrible. But I filched a good one from Food with Frank.

Chilli prawn with papaya salad. Photo from Food with Frank - http://www.foodwithfrank.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/IMG_1599.jpg

Papaya was thinly shredded and the sour/spicy sauce had soaked all the way through the crunchy slivers. The prawn were a little limp but boiled prawns (as these were) are kind of hard to glamourise.

Soft shell crab with wasabi mayonnaise and lime, basking in all  its pink neon glory. Even from this angle the crab looks damn sexy.

J and I have a devotion to soft shell crab. It combines love of seafood with complete laziness - Hey! Just eat the whole damn thing - and this one was definitely the best order of the night. The crab was like the size of my palm! Complete with scrummy lime and an exotic take on mayo (wasabi).

Mixed mushroom pho and Vermicelli with lemongrass beef

I have never ever had a vegetarian pho before, so seeing "mixed mushroom" on the menu was delightful to my 70% vegetarian sensibilities. However, quickly after the pho arrived I realised why. The reason I love pho is 70% attributable to MSG and high-blood-pressure inducing levels of sodium and there was neither in this very very healthy but unfortunately bland bowl. The soup was bountiful with mushrooms though and mushrooms are always welcome.

Vermicelli with lemongrass beef or bun (pronounced "boon") was yum. Fish sauce, well cooked beef, ricey vermicelli noodles, what is there to complain about? Heaps of condiments to add spicy to your life and the prices here aren't too bad either.

Hanoi Hannah
180 High Street
Prahran
9939 5181

we're getting married...

.... in 59 days!

1405 proposed in December last year for reasons I still can't fathom, nonetheless we are incredibly nervous and happy in a giddy way about the whole thing.

Source of image: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1350903/My-Big-Fat-Gypsy-Wedding-makes-Katie-Price-look-classy.html
We want nothing less.

This is the reason that many of the posts you'll see from us for the next few months are going to be a bit dated, they're from our huge archive (so very huge) of previous accidental feasts. Right now we are saving like good Chinese kids so we can pay for our wedding with duh cash. What good are four and a half university degrees for, if not paying for your own damn wedding?

lil boy blue

Poched and crumbed eggs with trio of mushrooms, soldiers, salsa verde, pickled  capsicum and goat's curd.

Two words. Crumbed eggs. I may be the last person in Kew to notice this but HOLY SHIT CRUMBED EGGS. This is deep fried eggs, done the awesome way.

Thinking now about the orange gorgeous runny yolk and the crunchy crumbed shell sends shivers down my spine. In a good way, not I-hate-runny-eggs-fuck-me-right? kind of way. The whole concept reminds me of deep fried ice cream and seriously, who doesn't like their hipster brunch to remind them that they were once just as happy being the fat kid in a noisy tacky suburban Chinese restaurant hogging two fried ice creams to themselves?

Oh wait, yep that's still me.

This is an accurate representation of my childhood.

Lil Boy Blue
309 High Street
Kew

9853 5003

cafe rosamond

I must confess I'm not really a sugar person, my choice of death by overindulgence is probably going to be heart attack (fried potatoes, anyone?) Anyway, 1405 is a (manly manly) sweet tooth and it was his teeth that led us to Cafe Rosamond on a chilly pre-spring night.

A pop-up dessert evening by Pierre Roelof (the Yoda of pastry chefs where we are), this little operation is open only on Thursday nights and does not take bookings. Light heartbreak music, local art and whimsical pot plants make this tiny hybrid cafe / dessert legend feels right at home at the hipper part of Smith Street. It is tucked into the back of another obscure alt/pop store, in true Melbourne fashion.

We opted to share a three-course dessert degustation between the two of us with a dessert tube and it was plenty plenty to showcase the exquisite skill and attention to detail of these delicious works of art.

Open ended test tubes: surprisingly substantial.

This is as close as we are getting this year to Heston Blumenthal's "drink me" straws from his Alice in Wonderland themed feast. The bottom of the test tube needed to be soaked in a beaker of hot water for a few second to loosen the contents and then slammed down - delicately. The layers were cream, chocolate and ginger. Together they made a flavour that reminded 1405 of cakes in Germany - hearty, sweet and a touch of spice.

Aniseed meringue with sherbert and a tart fruit base

This was my favourite one of the night, lighly lightly meringue with crisp flavours and a sticky fruit-based saucey thing was a delight to eat.

Bottom to top: gingerbread, ginger granita, citrus liquer, creamy foam and puffed millet.

This very adult and very modern parfait was also very gingery. I liked the puffed millet and the crunchy refreshing granita. I'm not a fan of ice but the flavours were nice, almost savoury.

The piece de resistance! Hazelnut, orange, lime.

The final dish was, to my non-sweet palate, exceedingly good. Hidden under the crumble and freeze dried citrus cubes were tiny scrolls of sponge with a chocolate sauce filling, resting contentedly on a bed of hazelnut chocolate sauce. The crunchy hazelnuts and subtle lime sugar were a welcome contrast to the gooey chocolatey-ness.

Patting our stomachs after three and a half courses of dessert, we realised that we weren't feeling that too-much-of-a-good-thing from a sugar overload. None of the desserts were overly sweet, rather they used fresh, real flavours that just worked - which is really the essence of any good dish, sweet or savoury.

Cafe Rosamond
Rear of 191 Smith Street
Collingwood
9419 2270

Eat me!

It's been a long time since posting anything. But that's life. I've been busy working in an office job where the happiest moments in life are looking forward to the next meal (coffee break, lunch, afternoon tea, then going to dinner time).

The picture inserted is the outcome of of how long I had been waiting to eat my afternoon snack. I decided to lightly draw 'eat me' on my pear and when it finally appeared I knew it was time. The small things in life that give you a kick and keep you looking forward to the next moment.

It's probably not the best way to remind yourself to take a break from work or whatever you do by inflicting cuts into your fruit, but then again it could be quite artistic & poetic, no? Sort of the last scars of the fruit's life for your enjoyment and consciousness.

In any case, I thought it amusing to think my food could communicate with me and all the possibilities this situation posed. Would that make us eat more healthily or be more conscious of what we eat?